If handled correctly, the giving and accepting of constructive criticism can actually increase your professional credibility and status. Here are three tips for making your feedback as palatable and valuable as possible:
- Be tactful.
- Be specific.
- Be accurate.
It is best to take a positive and constructive approach. Telling someone "You did a lousy job" accomplishes nothing beyond making him or her feel demoralized and defensive. It may be accurate, but it is not tactful, and it isn't specific enough to be helpful. You haven't let the person know what he or she did wrong or offered any suggestions for improvement. Typically, people respond to this kind of criticism with embarrassment, denial, or even outright hostility. A better approach would be something like this: "The estimates in this proposal should include a more comprehensive advertising budget."
Focus on the behavior you hope to change, not on the person. Insults, name-calling, and personal attacks are never warranted or acceptable, no matter what the circumstances. Avoid "you" statements, which sound like an attack, such as "You really let me down." "You" statements always make someone feel defensive. Remember that in all probability, the person really wants to do the right thing. However, it isn't always easy for others to meet your expectations, particularly if they aren't sure exactly what they are.
If possible, mention some of the person's positive skills and contributions along with your specific suggestions for improvement. Always choose an appropriate time and a private location for offering criticism. No one will appreciate being embarrassed in public.
After offering a verbal criticism, it is often a good idea to follow up in writing. Today, many companies require a written follow-up to provide a record of the interaction and to ensure that the individual understands the key points and recommendations.
Everyone finds himself or herself on the receiving end of criticism from time to time. When this happens, the most important thing is to remain calm and fight the natural instinct to become paranoid or defensive. Here are five tips that can help you to handle criticism and turn it into a positive learning experience.
- Listen. Keep an open mind. Everyone makes mistakes, and we can all use improvement in some areas. Resist the temptation to argue or make excuses.
- Consider the source. Does the speaker have the authority, knowledge, and expertise to give you this feedback? Does he or she have an ulterior motive? (Be careful not to invent one, though, just to make yourself feel better.)
- Ask for specific examples. Don't accept generalities such as "poor," "disappointing," or "lousy." Politely ask the speaker to tell you exactly what is wrong. Questions like, "Exactly what was wrong with the presentation" or a request such as, "Help me to understand what you mean by 'poor'" should help you to get some useful information.
- Evaluate the criticism. If it is valid, accept it gracefully and with a positive attitude. Tell the speaker you appreciate his or her comments and be enthusiastic about your willingness and ability to use the suggestions to improve your performance.
- Keep the useful information, but let go of the negative feelings. Don't dwell on the embarrassment of being criticized. Hold your head up high and move on.
Everyone needs to feel appreciated. A word of praise can do wonders for any employee's spirit and motivation.
You don't have to gush over someone to express your appreciation. A simple "Good job--keep up the good work" is enough to make most people feel good. The amount and specific wording of your praise should suit your personality. Low-key praise is perfectly fine, as long as it's sincere.
Some people hesitate to compliment employees because they worry that the praise will "go to their heads." To avoid that possibility, simply be specific and focus your praise on the particular action or accomplishment rather than on the person in general. Increase the impact of your praise by giving it in writing or in public, whenever possible and appropriate. Put a copy of any complimentary notes or memos in your employee's permanent personnel file.
If you have something nice to say, don't wait. If you don't say it right away, chances are you will forget. Besides, according to the principles of behavior modification, the sooner you reinforce positive behavior, the more likely it is to be repeated.
A little humility is a good thing. But too much can be as detrimental to your image as too little.
It is not arrogant or immodest to accept a compliment, as long as you do it gracefully. In fact, false modesty is not only unbecoming, but can be downright insulting to the judgment of the person who paid you the compliment.
"Thank you" is always a polite and correct way to acknowledge a compliment. Don't add "It was nothing" or some other qualifying statement that diminishes you and your accomplishment. However, it's always appropriate to acknowledge others who were instrumental in your success: "I couldn't have done it without Sally and Ted," or to share something valuable you learned from the experience: "Researching that area was great for me. I learned so much about the pre-teen market."
Once, after an annual team meeting at a large company, I asked the officer who put together the whole affair if she got any thank-you notes. She said two - one from the managing director, one from the senior vice president. How is it that they were the only two people to take the time to acknowledge the work that was done? Also, at this same event, 50 people showed up without having RSVPed. Consequently they were short of food. Poor etiquette to say the least.
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